My Journey to Forgiveness pt. 2

The first time he heard the babies heartbeat, you would have thought he had just won the lottery! He shouted and jumped up and down for joy. He looked forward to the doctor's visit. He would ask me "when is the next one? I can't wait"! When I had an ultrasound and saw the beautiful life growing inside of me, we both cried. It was at that moment that our baby became real. He kissed me and told me how much he loved me.

I was in heaven!

Well, needless to say, the enthusiasm soon subsided. I would tell him I had an appointment on Wednesday and he would say, "Oh, okay. Tell me what the doctor said". Him going to the doctors had all but stopped. He never asked me questions about how the baby and I were doing.

It was like he was living in another world.

I soon found out that "chillin with my girl" was about to come to an abrupt end. When I was about four months pregnant, he began to go out about once a week with his buddies. It was usually a Friday or Saturday night. At first, this was fine with me. He needed to get some "male bonding" time and I needed some "alone time" with myself or spend the evening with my best friend. He would not be gone all night. He would come home around 1:00 a.m. and most of the time I would still be up watching a movie I had rented or something on television. He would come in, kiss me, plop down on the couch and "rub the belly."

Our life was still good.

Well, the "once" turned into "twice" and then "three" times a week. The coming home early would turn into 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning. His behavior began to change. The giving me a kiss and "rubbing the belly" had in all essence stopped. I figured he was tired and partied a "little to much".

After all, he was still coming home to me, right?

I would ask him, "how was the night with the fellas"? At first, he would give me detail by detail information on the nights events. Then, it went from a few words to "okay". I just figured the night did not go very well.

No big deal.

My "inner voice" was telling me something was not right, but I just ignored it. I loved him and trusted him. Nothing ever happened before, right? He is still coming home. He is still telling me he loves me. I am sure nothing is going on. Until, the phone call............... Grace and Peace